Die Fastenzeit ist nun endlich vorbei – man möchte sich eigentlich bei Gott bedanken, wenn er einem denn die Suppe, die man 40 Tage nicht essen durfte, nicht höchstpersönlich eingebrockt hätte. Alle Jahre wieder kommt hier nämlich der Osterhase, um 40 Tage Entschlackungskur und Darmbefreiung mit Schokolade und Backwerk nichtig zu machen.
“Was zum Teufel…?”, mag der verneigte geneigte Leser nun denken, “…du hast gefastet?” Sanft kann ich beruhigen: “Das hat zwar weder mit Gott, dem Teufel und dem heiligen Himbeergeist (a.k.a. Die eilige Scheinheiligkeit) zu tun, aber ja, ich faste jedes Jahr.”
Auch ich zähle mich zu den selbsternannten Abstinenzlern und habe mich für 40 Tage in die symbolische Wüste begeben um dort allen möglichen Versuchungen des Teufels zu widersagen. Nachdem ich jetzt also ohne Probleme auf das Essen (verschimmelter Lebensmittel), mediale Verdummung (erfolgreich kein Video von DagiBeeBee angesehen) und (unverdünnten) Alkohol verzichtet habe, kann ich ab Morgen wieder flauschige Marmelade essen, während ich mir die neusten Glimmer-Gloss-Nightline-72h-kussfesten Lippenstifte in 50 shades of pink zeigen lasse und einen 40-Jahre alten Brennspiritus geschmacklich auf Vergällung prüfe. Wenn ich denn möchte. Ich tendiere momentan aber eher zu einer Verlängerung der Fastenzeit gerade diesbezüglich. Das soll mir mal einer nachmachen.
Der eigentliche Grund, warum ich das Ende der Fastenzeit feiere, ist aber der, dass die missionarischen Intestinalklempner mir nicht mehr ständig vorhalten, dass sie ihre Gedärme ausspülen. Das will ich nämlich bei den meisten Menschen gar nicht wissen. Bei einigen kann es dann durchaus unterhaltsam werden (hier ein freundlicher Hinweis auf die Artikelreihe “Saft-Fasten. Eine Tragödie in 5 Akten“), aber das ist doch eher die Ausnahme.
Einen Vorteil hat die ganze Geschichte aber: Durch die ständige Präsenz von christlichen Glaubensinhalten in den Medien und meinem Umfeld, die durch den Fasten-Wahn hervorgerufen wurde, wurde ich daran erinnert, dass ich ein Lieblings-Bibel-Zitat habe, das ganz gut zum Thema passt:
Und Noah, der Landmann, fing an, einen Weinberg zu pflanzen. Als er aber von dem Weine trank, wurde er trunken und lag entblößt in seinem Zelte.
Genesis 9:20
Dann geh ich mal einen auf Noah machen. Prost!
Bei dem Wort Entschlacken (und all seinen Zeitformen und so) kommt in mir unweigerlich das Bild im Kopf auf, dass irgendwo im menschlichem Körper Güllegruben sind und in der Entschlackungskur kommt ein Trekker mit Gülleanhänger und entsorgt das Zeug XD
Mal abgesehen davon das es für “Schlacke im Menschlichem Körper” glaub ich keine wirklichen glaubhaften Studien gibt. Ist glaub ich eher so nen mentales Ding was man zu Geld macht 😀
ja, so ungefähr stell ich mir das auch vor. Die schnelle Variante ist TexMex essen 😀
Klar, gerade die Firma, die diese Saftkur-Säfte verkaufen, macht vermutlich ein Vermögen…
Danke für den Schmunzler. 😀
Ich faste erst seit Ostern 😉 😀
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