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Da ist er, der Mainstream. Er hat mich erreicht. Und dabei habe ich nichtmal aktiv dazu beigetragen. Ich bin nur irgendwo eingezogen. Eigentlich ist das auch schon länger her, aber ich fühle mich erst heute so Mainstream.

Um Missverständnissen vorzubeugen: Ich meine jetzt nicht, dass ich endlich im Internet lebe und nicht mehr der Realität Achtung zolle. Vielmehr lebe ich in einem hochmodernen Haus, welches im Jahr 1914 gebaut wurde. Es verbindet den altehrwürdigen Charme der Baufälligkeit mit den Annehmlichkeiten des modernen Lebens und darüber möchte ich gerne berichten:

Unsere Küche besitzt ein Dachfenster, welches in ungefähr 3m Höhe angebracht ist. Ein manuelles bedienen scheint hier unmöglich, weshalb unser Hausherr frerundlicherweise eine Fernbedienung eingebaut hat, welche regelmäßig von der Wandhalterung gerissen wird und dabei kaputt geht. Da wir keine Dunstabzugshaube haben, öffnen wir das Fenster gerne beim Kochen, was im Winter dann gerne zu spontanen Gefriervorgängen führt, weil die gute Wärme natürlich mit den Kochdämpfen durchs Fenster entfleucht. Doch das tut dem Komfort keinen Abbruch.

Weiterhin besitzen wir eine Funkklingel, welche unter anderem individuelle Klingeltöne ermöglicht und blaue Blitze durchs Haus schießt, wenn die betätigt wird. Natürlich nur, sofern die Batterien nicht gerade leer sind, was meistens alle 3 Wochen der Fall ist. Der Paktezusteller weiß das, weshalb er immer laut klopft, egal ob die Klingel grade funktioniert oder nicht.

Ich möchte aber in dieses Paketwarnsystem investieren. Denn allzu oft ist es mir passiert, dass ich gerade noch ungezogen, ich meine unangezogen im Bett lag, als der Zusteller frühmorgens um 11 vorbeischaut. Bis ich dann angemessene Kleidungsstücke gefunden und an mir angebracht habe, ist er oft schon wieder gegangen. Mir schwebt da eine Verbesserung vor, die mithilfe von modernster Technik realisierbar wäre:

Wir platzieren ein Tablet in der Außenwand, das mit der Klingel verbunden ist. Sobald jemand klingelt, wird per Kamera sein Foto auf alle verfügbaren Geräte im Haus gesendet, sodass man gleich sehen kann, ob man sich für die Person, die vor der Tür steht, etwas anziehen muss, oder nicht. Wenn es die Freundin ist, braucht es ja keine Klamotten. Als Antwort kann man seinen Status dem Klingler mitteilen, der eine Art Ladebalken zu sehen bekommt mit der geschätzten Restzeit bis zur Türöffnung und Liveupdates zum jeweiligen Arbeitsschritt: Kleider lokalisieren, Kleider platzieren und so weiter. Falls er es eilig und kein Problem mit unzulänglicher Bekleidung hat, kann er jederzeit den Anziehvorgang abbrechen, um den Prozess des Paketzustellens zu beschleunigen. Das wäre für alle Beteiligten die beste Lösung. Und bei den aktuellen Temperaturen ist es auch kein Problem, mal nackt zur Tür zu gehen. Das sollte man sowieso öfters tun.

Ich wünsche mir ein Tablet zu Weihnachten 😉

Flashbash
Disclaimer: Dieser Artikel handelt ausschließlich von fiktiven Tieren. Beim Schreiben sind keine Ähnlichkeiten zu Schaden gekommen. Die Erfindungen und die handelnden Artikel dieser Personen sind frei gehandelt. Wer nach einer Möglichkeit sucht, sich in diesem Text wieder zu erkennen, möge einen Spiegel vor den Bildschirm stellen.

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