Von Jesus, Richtern und Alkohol

…und dann gibt es noch diese “eine” Person im Freundeskreis: Diese Person, deren Leben interessanter ist als jede Fernsehserie. Und deren jüngste Äußerungen regelmäßig wie die neuste Episode von Game of Thrones diskutiert werden. Nicht etwa, weil dieser Mensch ein besonders beeindruckendes Leben führt. Im Gegenteil: Es ist das Verpeilte, das “Ich bin so schön verstrahlt” als Lebensmotto.

Und ich frage mich manchmal, ob dieser Mensch weiß, wie sehr er einem Unterhaltungsmedium ähnelt, das zwar nur eine kleine aber dafür beständige Einschaltquote hat. Immerhin müsste er darüber nachdenken. Was schwierig wird. Namen will ich mal keine nennen, vielleicht kommt er ja von selbst drauf, wenn er mal gerade nicht gegen Goliath kämpft. Oder mit Jesus diskutiert. Den hat er (nennen wir ihn der Einfachheit halber mal “Karl”) nämlich auf der letzten Halloweenparty getroffen. Man mag sich nun darüber wundern, dass es tatsächlich jemand angemessen findet, Jesus als Gruselkostüm zu tragen. Das ist sicher gegenüber den ganzen Gläubigen, die auf diesem Planeten immer noch das Paradies suchen, politisch sowas von nicht korrekt. Deshalb gehen wir nun einfach mal davon aus, dass es der echte Jesus war, der vor dem jüngsten Tag (wann ist denn eigentlich der nächste Termin dafür angesetzt?) noch ein bisschen Spaß haben wollte.

Bevor sich jetzt alle wundern, warum Er beginnt, den Illeismus auf Seinem Blog anzuwenden: Keine Angst, Er spricht nicht von Sich selbst. Oder so.

Ich schweife ab. Nun kann eine Diskussion mit Jesus durchaus ihre Höhepunkte haben, für mich war dieser definitiv, als dieser auf Karl beschwichtigend einredete:

Mein Sohn! Gib mir deine Waffe, ich verspüre aggressive Schwingungen!

Karl trug nämlich einen Baseballschläger mit sich herum, der zwar nicht zu seinem Glitzervampirkostüm passte, aber selbigem vom Balkon gefallen war.  Das war nicht weiter schlimm, denn ein Baseballschläger ist natürlich auch hart im Nehmen. Hab ich mal gehört.

Ob die Mutter des Gastgebers nun vorhat, ihren Sohn wegen der Party zu verklagen, steht noch aus. Das hat nämlich eine Düsseldorferin erfolglos versucht. Und wenn sie an dieselbe Richterin gerät, die anerkennend schaut, wenn der Angeklagte erzählt, er habe nach den 6 Bier beim Vorglühen noch “13 Wodka Bull, fünf Jägermeister, sechs Bier” getrunken, dann wird wohl auch sie keinen Erfolg haben.

Wer bis hierhin durchgehalten hat, darf stolz auf sich sein. “Verwirrend” ist nicht das richtige Wort, aber das erste, das mir dazu einfällt.

Flashbash
Disclaimer: Dieser Artikel handelt ausschließlich von fiktiven Tieren. Beim Schreiben sind keine Ähnlichkeiten zu Schaden gekommen. Die Erfindungen und die handelnden Artikel dieser Personen sind frei gehandelt. Wer nach einer Möglichkeit sucht, sich in diesem Text wieder zu erkennen, möge einen Spiegel vor den Bildschirm stellen.

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    Ich bin verwirrt.

    Also Karl lässt sich was vom falschen Jesus einreden und lässt dabei seinen Baseballschläger fallen?

    Und was hat eine Anzeige damit zutun?

    Ich hoffe, dass werden wir alle in der nächsten Episode von “Karls Life” erfahren…

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